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Life must go on

   

  Mariana had a bad night, she woke up early and went fast to the hospital to see Juliano. Things were looking better this morning, he slept reasonably well, responded positively to the tests, vision, reflexes, questions, etc.

  Neurological damage was virtually discarded, but he still had an MRI scheduled in the afternoon in Rio Preto.

  Besides, the cut would still need attention. The doctor gave her a better evaluation:

  – He didn’t lose too much tissue, but for a nice result probably he will need some skin transplants in two or three operations, it will take some time, but anyway... Well, the ambulance will be available at noon.

  Juvencio and Maria Pia went to Rio Preto with Juliano, probably staying there for many weeks. Mariana was left in the farm, she was the only one who could keep things running in the absence of Juliano. She was able to keep inseminations going on. Jurandir's wife had already helped Maria Pia, would take care of the house.

  The day was long and hard; Mariana and Jurandir blamed themselves for the accident; her, because of the stupid fight, and him for not being around.

  Probably some cows in heat were left behind; patience, they would be empty another cycle.

  Things were calming down on the farm.

  In the summer, we don’t need to feed the cows, they graze. They only must be changed from one area to another, so as not to cut the grass too much.

   Juvencio called.

  – My daughter, how are you? Alright?

  – Here, yes, and there?

  – Okay, the MRI didn’t bring anything new and confirmed the doctor’s diagnosis, so, about the trauma, he just needs to rest. I spoke to Dr. Anthony. Do you remind Mr. Faber, our farm neighbor in Goias? So, he is his brother, Can you imagine that, what luck! He received us very well, he’s very interested in this case. The doc was right, Juliano needs two surgeries; the first one will be on the day after tomorrow. Now you, tell me how are you doing at the farm, all right?

  – Everything is ok, don’t worry. I’m sending Pia and Juliano a kiss, he keeps making fun?

  – Always.

  Mariana hung up and looked at the picture on the entrance wall. A poster, she was there, Quarter Horse Magazine, cover page, Campeonato Brasileiro de Bauru. A barrel racing, mounted riders running a cloverleaf pattern around barrels.

  She missed this skinny girl, riding this beautiful mare. Firm in his head, the cap, huge, embroidered with the Freedom's brand. Her hair was long and twisted, passing out through the back opening of the cap over the adjust Velcro. A black long-sleeved shirt, with red and yellow flames, rising from the waist and cuffs. Silver buckle, jeans and ostrich boots.

  The photographer did a nice job. The day was clear, a brilliant deep blue sky. The photo was taken at the exact moment when Mariana contoured the last barrel and resumed speed. She used the whip, loosened the reins and the mare jumped forward, leaving a cloud of dust that rose behind the perfect rotation. The barrel seemed like exploding.

  The girl’s face was peaceful, relaxed, completely focused in her absolute determination.

  What a glorious day.

   In the last few years, Mariana hadn’t ridden horses as much as she used to do, no time at all. Forms to fill, cattle selecting for the sales, post-graduation, she had almost forgotten how nice animals handling can be.

  The days passed. Her horse, which had been standing there, only eating and fattening, began to improve. She also returned to her old practice, her musculature was toning, she was running like a bullet in the middle of the herd, Jurandir badly accompanied her.

  One day, Jurandir couldn’t hold his point, and said:

  – Dona Mariana, it seems to me that you're faster than Juliano, and look, he's damned good at work.

  – Ok, Jurandir, you’ve made my day. Today you will make an insemination. You took the classes, didn’t you?

  – I did, Dona Mariana, and I'm good, you will see, Juliano never trusts me.

   

  Mariana worked hard, she slept sleepily and ate hungrily! The farm was immaculate. She decided to give herself a break. She called Manuela:

  – Today, I think I'll finish my job a little earlier. Have you been to the New Inn, by the river? No? Well, it’s nice there. I thought we could go there… in the late afternoon… you can get to know the place, we can drink a caipirinha, and the food is also good. Okay, I’ll pick up you. At five? Ok, bye.

  Mariana asked Jurandir to clean the van, took a bath, chose some little more fashionable pants, tried a shorter shirt, her belly was flat, not even a gram of fat. But no, she didn’t like the blouse, still preferred the polo shirt, Manuela said she was fine like that, repeated the usual, without the belt and a moccasin replacing the boot. A soft colony, a little blush and lip gloss.

  She looked at herself in the mirror, not bad. She turned; her short hair has a little peak going down in the middle of her white neck.

  At five o'clock sharp, the cleaned van stops in front of Manuela’s house.

  – I’m coming! I'm almost ready.

  She lied; it took long ten minutes before she finally came out.

  Manuela had a tiny waist, she had flesh but she was not fat. No way! She was wearing a short blouse, showing the belly. A female venter, really female, that's it! That's her, Manuela, tanned, blond, earrings, bracelets, high heels, colors, everything.

  – Forgive me, please. My clothes don’t fit me anymore, the student’s mothers are spoiling me, they send me all kind of treats. I'm a mammoth!

  Mariana did not like to wait, she had a rush to be there on time.

   

  The scenario was from a movie, the dam, the river, wide, almost impossible to see the other shore.

  The sun almost gone and the moon was already there, so near, full, pregnant, wonderful.

  The inn was empty. The staff knew Mariana and nicely welcomes them. They choose a table on the deck, almost on the water.

  The mosquitoes started biting Mariana’s feet. She usually wears socks and boots, the bright white skin was a feast for these stupid insects.

  Oh boy! This is not my day – Mariana thought slapping on her feet and cursing.

  Manuela took some baby oil from her purse, put Mariana’s feet over her lap, took off her shoes and started massaging her feet with the oil and said:

  – My father loves fishing, then he used to take us together, it was nice but there were lots of mosquitoes. One day, we came back with many spots, my mother got mad with him. Then, he started “greasing” us with canola oil, nowadays I can’t smell it, but worked. Some time ago I learned that any kind of oil is also good. They don’t like the scent, you'll see.

  And the night came fresh and fragrant, The sun set took away the mosquitoes and Mariana’s moodiness, the drinks arrived.

  – How about the farm, how are you doing there? You must be getting crazy, alone and with all that job? – Manuela questioned.

  – I have something to confess to you. I'm worried about Juliano, of course, I miss him, my father, Pia, but, God forgive me, I'm loving these days alone. I’m in a peace of mind, you can‘t imagine.

  – Seriously?

  – First of all, my father gave me a break. He stopped pushing me. Because I'm his daughter, everything I do must be one hundred and ten percent perfect. Now he knows that I’m overloaded, he doesn’t ask me too much, it's all right ... But the worst is…

  – There's more?

  – Yep! When I saw Juliano lying there, bleeding, my heart was about to explode, you can’t imagine that. He is my brother, my buddy.

  – Your fiancé! – Manuela exclaims.

  – So! This is the problem, it bothers me. Because he's my boyfriend, he feels like he should control me, you know?

  – Heloow! You are the boss, baby.

  – I know, it's hard to understand, but this is it. Everyone expects me doing things to please him, woman’s stuff. You know. By the way, you do it spontaneously, I can see how easily you do that,
by the time we realize, you already did. I have good will, I swear, but it's hard to me. And about me being the boss, is complicated. Dad looks modern, but he isn’t.

  – I know, mine is just like that! I can do whatever I want as long as I’m a teacher. You’re right. I don’t mind it anyway, he’s so proud of me.

  – My dad says – continues Mariana – “A man must be in charge”! Without false modesty, I am much better prepared than Juliano. Also I can ride a horse, I know how to handle the staff, I’ll be the owner of the farm, but all of that doesn’t matter, no way. The boss has to be a man! Can you understand?

  – I don’t even want to try. Really good drink, caipirinha, isn’t it?

  – Great, let me ask another round.

  – I’ll make a sacrifice, because of you!!

  They ordered dinner; the moon was bigger, yellow, disquieting. The chatting was better.

  They were different and equal at the same time. Manuela also came from a rancher’s family, less wealthy, but their lands were leased for sugarcane production and this could provid a comfortable life for all of them.

  Manuela soon applied for this job, teaching was the only way to leave her house without marrying. She passed a test, but not in the first places, the nearest city she could pick was New Genoa. An influent uncle was dealing to move her back home, but, at first she would have to stay some time there, in fact she was loving it.

  They seemed childhood friends, half the time the two of them spoke together, laughing to death.

  – You know what's worse? – Mariana asks, a little drunk – Juliano is getting well, next week he will be back, I haven’t seen him, we only talked by phone. People say that this doctor remade him better than before. The problem is… This accident increases my commitment to him. It connects me and Juliano forever, this is driving me crazy.

  – Calm down, my friend! We can talk about it – says Manuela.

  – My father and Juliano – Mariana continues –, they love those cows, there is no other life for them. I also like the cows, but, you know, there is much more in the world. Money isn’t so good anymore, work, risk. Actually, we could make more money if the land was leased for sugarcane, as yours family did, and spend the days here, sitting contemplating the river. Isn’t it crazy?

  – Well, at home it made all the difference.

  – This week I saw on the internet – Mariana is now excited –, there is a place called Museum of Comparative Anatomy, in Paris, heard about it?

  – Never.

  – Neither did I. Do you know when Juliano will visit Paris and I will see this museum? Never!

  – I wanna go to Paris! – Manuela says, also drunk.

  – Exactly, you’re a biologist, would love it, it looks like Indiana Jones’s movies, shelves of varnished dark wood, and glass. There is a sequence of small real skeletons showing how fish became birds. It's crazy. Think about it, all of this in the beginning of the last century. And I’m still here, asking men for permission, working with that fucking spreadsheet, controlling if the bitch of the 4348 returned to estrus. I'm sick of this; I want to go to Paris.

  – I'll go with you to the Museum of Comparative Anatomy, I liked it! We can also eat some crepes and go shopping a little bit?

  – Sure. Today we can even go to the Moon!

  – A toast to the moon! Mariana!

  – A toast to the moon! Manuela!